Matthew Douglas - Online Memorial Website

Hey brother...  Another day and I am still on this miserable rock.  You are always on my mind.  Today I lost a friend I thought was cool like you and I lost Michelle last year and everyone and everything is gone.  Feels like anyone I care about dies or hurts me and leaves.  Its like a sick joke...  I wish the joke would end.  I wish I could talkto tyou so bad...

Hey brother.. I miss you so much. Really wish I could talk to you right now. I lost my heart and soul when my wife Michelle Rush.  I told her all about you. We kept your hat in our car so you could be with us.  She left June 22nd to go to the store and didn't come back.  I kept calling her phone and she wouldn't answer.  Finally a state trooper picked up and asked me for my location and I knew that couldn't be good.  When they got to me and he pulled her phone out to give me I knew I lost her...  I felt every bit of my life drain out of me and I can't come back from this pain.  I was supposed to keep her safe.  I should have went to the store not her.  I don't want to be here anymore without her.  I don't know how to shake this pain.  I've made a mess of everything.  I lost everything and I'm not well.  Been hospitalized 3 times since and I just can't feel better.  I know I have to stay strong for everyone but I am not sure I can.  I am trying to carry on what she would want me too but time isn't healing anything.  I wish you could come over and talk to me.  You were always here for me and I miss you.  You would have liked Michelle. She was the fire in my engine and my reason to push through anything.  I would never let anyone hurt her.  I feel like I failed her now as each day goes by that I wake and she is not laying on me.  I have nightmares when I do sleep and then I wake to the nightmare of the reality that I didn't save her and she is gone now.  She didn't deserve this and neither did you.  If I could give my soul for both of you to come back and live I would.  You both deserved it more than I do.  Michelle lost her mother last year and she describes the pain she felt in this attachment I am including in this message to you.  I love you brother.

I know you probably know this but I miss you like crazy and still think of you often. I wish you were still here. I remember I could talk to you about life when it got crazy and you just listened. You didn't judge or critized-just listened, I mean really listened. You know what's crazy? Because of you, me and Marla are the best of friends. We talk about that all the time. Man, I wish you were still here. I wish I could just call you up and meet for lunch or go see you. I know I will see you again someday but that seems so far off. Love and miss you!

I haven't posted anything on here in a while but I still think of Matt often!  I know that he is in a wonderful place!  I can still remember the sound of his voice and the way he laughed.  It's amazing how someone can leave such an impression on your life and you never, ever forget! 

Matt....I just wanted you to know that I miss you.  Do you remember the time we were talking and you were encouraging me to follow my dreams and to not doubt myself so much?  Well, I finally took your advice!  I'm in nursing school now and will graduate in April of next year.  It is hard, but I'm making good grades and will be starting clinicals in a few weeks.  There is a guy in my class that reminds me so much of you that it is unbelievable!  I am in a relationship with an amazing guy and we have been together for 2 years now.  He is a great guy and I think you would be really happy to know that he treats me well, unlike other men that I have dated in the past.  I have talked to him about you a million times.  I don't think you ever really realized how much of an impact you had on my life.  You were always honest with me and never told me what you thought I wanted to hear.  All of the advice that you gave me throughout our friendship was perfect.  I couldn't have asked for a better friend and I miss you so very much!!!

We are missing you so much. Every day I think about you and a smile isn't far behind. You were such a piece of my heart and always will be. I have a lot of great memories, but the one that touches my heart the most is when Mom (Granny Douglas) was in the hospital on life support you were right there with me. And you helped me get through it some how. That is what I remember most was your heart. It was an amazing heart.....I love you sunshine.

My condolences, as feelings of pain and bitterness become unbearable. It is my desire to convey a comforting thought based on the Holy Scriptures

          

  John 5:28 "Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out."

 

 

This passage speaks of the resurrection of our loved ones. It is not God's plan to see us suffer and die, so He extends the following invitation to us: "Come near to God and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8)

 

Please go to the following link to obtain more information regarding the Hope expressed in this passage and again we are sorry for your loss.

 

 http://www.jw.org

Matt,

You and I dated briefly in 2007/2008. You were just an amazing person and so kind hearted. My daughter, Kailin, often talks of you. You guys had a great friendship as well.  She is now 14 years old and still looks back at the birthday pictures from her childhood and there is one of you and her hugging. She tells people you were one of her best friends, back then, but now you are with God and one of his best friends. I haven't posted anything on here previously because I didn't feel it my place, but I was sitting here at work and started thinking about you and our time together. You were such a good friend. I am truely sorry for your loss, and I hope some day soon that your family will have a little peace!

Happy Birthday Matt...I remember when you were born. I remember when you were growing up and in my wedding. Matt you were always so special to me. Your grandparents were so proud of you...we all were. You always had a smile and made everyone else smile. Please know how much your short time here on this earth touched so many lives. I love you more than words could ever say. Miss you sweetheart~ xoxoxo

I finally got the nerve to write something here. Just thinking of the life that was lost too soon is bringing tears to my eyes. Matt and I went to HS together. I am still in shock that he is not here. We lost touch after HS. Then every other year we would somehow find each other. Even thou I did not speak to him the last year he was on earth I do miss him. I know he is in heaven watching over us.

I love you and miss you Matt!

~ Tracy

I can't start one day without thinking of you and how much I miss you. We all know that you are in the most beautiful place and beside our heavenly father, but that doesn't mean we are not hurting. We all miss that wonderful silly smile of yours and your gentle spirit that lit up the room when you walked in. I know that you Know how much I and everyone loved you and always will. I guess I'm being selfiish by wanting you here, but I do. I know you can watch over us now and you have alot of family with you to help you feel at home that much more. I just wanted to say you have always been loved more than words can ever say and you will be missed so much it can never be measured. All my love Aunt Donna, Uncle Todd, and your beloved twins cousins Alexis and Arianna