Memories ... hmmm ... too many to mention. Here's a few ... I remember the day of Matt's birth. He was a big baby - 9 lb 10 oz. I remember, as everyone probably remembers, how he "ate, slept, and lived" computers. I remember some of the funny things he would say and some of the funny things we said to each other that was just our own rituals. I remember him being such a support after Tom's death. I remember the difficulties he had in life. I remember the fun and happy times he had. I'm sure there were many fun times he had that I know nothing about ... I would be scared to find out. haha I remember how much he loved family and enjoyed being with family and friends. He loved his computer but if a friend wanted him to come over - he was gone. I remember him talking to people in three different chatrooms at the same time -- and keeping up with all the conversations! He talked to people all around the world for years and considered some of them good friends. In looking at all the pictures on this site, so many memories come to mind, and some you just had to be there to understand. All of these memories are bittersweet. I wish I could see him one more time and talk to him and tell him I love him and hug him ... one more time.
I feel like I have been awaiting this day to arrive and dreading it the whole time. I can't believe it's been a year since we lost Matt. I've never written anything on here before now. So here goes my blog:
I remember so many things about our childhood. I remember the day Poppaw & Granny Gowen took me back home the day Mom & Dad brought you home from the hospital. I loved holding you. The way you'd cry yourself to sleep as a baby listening to Christopher Cross albums. I remember holding my hand over your mouth when I hit you so your scream wouldn't get me in trouble... you got older and bigger. I remember you getting mad at the Nintendo when you "lost a man". I remember you coming home from school off the bus at Poppaw & Granny's. I remember taking up for you when some kids on our street were being mean to you. I remember you asking if Mom & Tom were coming back & if David & I would be your new parents. I remember riding bikes with you & Kenny all summer long. I remember riding up to Dad's together for weekends. I remember going to Opryland together as a family and we'd ride the Flume Zume over & over and get drenched at the Old Mill Scream. I remember you helping Granny G. program her VCR over the phone when you were very young; I don't think you were even 10 yet. I remember coming back home after I got married and sitting in your bedroom trying to talk to you & catch up; I miss that the most -- so weird going to Mom's without you there. I remember talking once in a while on the phone to catch up too when I didn't make it to TN much last year. I remember when you stayed with me while Adam was deployed years ago and a tropical storm came through & you slept through most of it. then we went camping with the Dunaway's in Alabama. and sometimes I think I see Reuben in your younger pictures; that makes me proud. I remember being brutally yet regretably honest with you. I remember the night I got "the call" that would change our lives. Life seemed so complicated for you at times. I'm sorry for that, but I believe you learned a lot from it. And you could still laugh, be silly & have a good time. I was so glad for the short time you had to be so happy before you left. I know you're with Tom, Elaine, grandparents, Tyler and more. Tell them I said hey and know I miss all of you so much. And can't wait to see & hug all of you again! I wish we were closer than I felt we were. I hope that you know that I love you so much. you'll always be my little brother.
I am missing Matt a lot ! I have a lot of things I think about and some are so funny . the one thing I think about is last time I seen him . he was not feeling well . he was at work and his roommate had just left . well I stayed for a bit and chat with him for a bit and me and him both got to laughing about something that I have on my computer witch he also put it on his . when you read this you will know why. everyone knows Larry King? he said something so funny we have it on our computer. it is so funny I can't hardly type but he said in these words Ajax backwards is and of course you can't say that backwards but to here the sound out of Larry's mouth sounds like something crazy . and we have it and it is so funny we would both make that sound at each other we would just laugh . it is ever bit of 3 seconds long . I miss him . he was always around me a lot!! he was my cuz, he was also my best friend in the whole world . Kenny
Hey little brother. I miss you everyday. The days I miss you the most are the ones where something really strange funny happens and I can't call anyone who would understand. You always did. Happy Birthday. I love you. Have a great time with dad in heaven. You are missed so much down here but i know you are looking down on all of us.
